Be of Good Courage...

"Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart, all you who hope in the Lord"
- Psalm 31:24

Some dictionary definitions:
Courage:  " the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, etc., without fear; bravery"
Fear: "a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid; concern or anxiety"
Quality:  "an essential or distinctive characteristic"

I find it interesting that the dictionary says that "quality of mind or spirit" is the necessary component of courage.  According to that definition, the mind or spirit would need a distinctive characteristic to be able to handle the potential difficulty, danger or pain; and to be able to handle all of those things without fear or anxiety would take something no less than supernatural. 

I'm not what I would consider to be an intellectual person; I'm more driven by emotions and most of my responses to life are driven by those emotions, so I'm not going to pretend to be super deep here.  I'm just an ordinary person who struggles with finding peace amidst the chaos and calamities that fill this life.  I struggle to lay down my fears an anxieties, and I so desperately want to face everything in life with courage.

So what does it look like to face life, and all the good and bad that comes with it, with courage?

Recently I heard a teaching by Beth Moore in which she talked about the mind.  Specifically she referenced 2 Timothy 1:7: "For God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind" (emphasis mine).  I'm not a scholar here, but to me, that "distinctive characteristic" that the dictionary says is needed to have courage is a SOUND MIND (because the definition is a QUALITY of mind, and quality's definition is to have a distinctive characteristic). That's it?  I need a sound mind?  And what's more, the Bible says I already have it because God's given me that spirit.

Last night I had a test for the martial art I'm learning, Soo Bahk Do.  I am new to this training, having only begun in June of this year.  Before the test I spent some time reading some of the manual to learn about the history and philosophy of Soo Bahk Do and Moo Duk Kwan.  Here is what some of the manual said:  Soo Bahk Do is "a Korean traditional martial art whose history dates back many centuries.  Kicking techniques, for which Soo Bahk Do is renowned, are based on the Moo Duk Kwan style as developed by the late founder Hwang Kee."  "The Moo Duk Kwan name gives us direction and focus in our mental training.  Soo Bahk Do is the technique; Moo Duk Kwan is the philosophy."  A brief definition of the words 'Moo Duk Kwan' is "a brotherhood and school of stopping inner and outer conflict and developing virtue through Soo Bahk Do training".

So I spent time before the test learning and reflecting on this.  I also learned that the Moo Duk Kwan flag (and the patch I wear on my uniform) carries with it significance on each part.  I was particularly drawn to the Korean symbol of the word "Moo" in the center.  It's meaning is translated "martial or military", but also it's a "composite of 'stop' and 'sword' or 'fighting'."  "This symbol represents the idea that the central purpose of Soo Bahk Do is to stop fighting between people and to resolve conflicts within ourselves."  This resonated with me because I feel like I have so much inner conflict that I'm constantly fighting.

So what's the point I'm trying to make?  Well, it occurred to me this morning that one of the many internal conflicts I have is just taking God at His Word, and believing what He says, versus what I feel.  He's telling me that He's already given me a sound mind.  It's there, whether I believe it or not.  He's already given me a spirit NOT of fear, but of love and sound mind - whether I believe it or not.  What I need to do is remember that His Living, Active Spirit is the energy and driving force behind everything I do, think and feel.  And if I'm filled with His Spirit, then I already have courage, whether I believe it or tap into it or not. 

During my test last night I had to be of good courage, because I had to perform a lot of the test by myself, in front of a lot of people - and believe me when I tell you that it was intimidating for someone who hasn't been training long.  That test was one of the few times in my life when I've just really taken God at His Word and just rested in the fact that I already had the courage I was seeking, because He's already given it to me, because I am His; and I just went out there and did my best.  And I've been amazed at the response.  People saw it.  I felt it.  Anything good they saw in my technique or my character last night was them looking directly at the Spirit of God; and I was fully aware of that and so pleased that He is who they saw because I want every last abyss of me to be fully surrendered to God so that everyone can experience THE GOD OF THE UNIVERSE!

The result of this experience? He strengthened my heart more than I could have hoped for, not just in confidence for my training, but I've made a connection with this experience and training and the biggest battle I'm facing today: fear during this pregnancy after loss. For the first time I feel like I can approach this pregnancy with good courage because I already have the necessary component or quality of a SOUND MIND and POWER that He's given me - and that strengthens my heart to hope for things I dared not hope for, and just accept His gift.  What a relief it is today to rest in this revelation and know I'm one step closer to resolving some inner conflict.