I Waited Patiently For The Lord...

I waited patiently for the Lord; And He inclined to me, And heard my cry.  He also brought me up out of a horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my steps.  He has put a new song in my mouth - Praise be to our God; Many will see it and fear, and will trust in the Lord. 

-Psalm 40:1-3

I waited patiently.  Well, I waited anyhow.  Patience is a difficult thing.  I'm trying to teach my 5 year old son patience.  Last week we went to Wal-Mart to price out an item, and as we were walking in he asked if he could look at the toys.  I told him that we could, but that we needed to look at something first.  He said ok, and was compliant for about 5 minutes.  Then the persistent asking began.  "Mommy, can we look at the toys now?"  1 minute later:  "Mommy, when can we go look at the toys?"  This persisted for awhile and I lost track of how many times I repeated "please just be patient honey, I promise we will look at them as soon as we are done."  Finally I got fed up with the asking and decided he needed to learn what it really meant to be patient.  So I said, "I've told you multiple times that we can go look at the toys after we are done with this task.  If you ask me again, then we will not be looking at them today.  You need to learn to trust me and to be patient."    As you can guess, a couple minutes later, he asked again.  It broke my heart to watch him cry over it, but I had to follow through, otherwise he would have learned nothing.

We have been trained to try to be patient.  We are supposed to stand patiently in line at the store.  We are supposed to be patient while sitting in traffic.  We have to be patient while waiting for our food to come at the restaurant.  Granted, there are those of us who do this better than others - some simply fly off and demand things instantly or exhibit road rage every time they get behind the wheel of their car.  But for the most part, we are asked to be patient in our day to day lives and we comply.  Perhaps that's why I felt it was so important to teach this lesson to my son in Wal-Mart.  I was "training" him to learn patience in day to day life because the day will come when he too must sit in traffic or stand in line.

But what about patience when it comes to waiting on God?  Do we have any training for this?  I really have to argue that particularly in America, no we do not.  While we can wait in line, when we really want something, we generally want it NOW!  This demand for things spills over into our prayer lives and shapes our view of God and what we perceive he "does" and "does not do".   If we pray for something and get what we want, then God becomes our  "genie in a bottle" and we expect Him to give us everything from there on out, no questions asked, WHEN we want it.  If, on the other hand, we pray for something and DON'T get it, then we perceive something entirely different.  Somehow we begin to believe that either we've: 1) asked wrong  2) done something wrong  3) need to ask again and again and again in the exact same manner 4) need to complete some "magic formula" to get what we want  or 5) we conclude God isn't listening, He isn't real, etc etc.  Not often when the answer is "no" or "wait" do we perceive that God just might have a bigger lesson in store for us. 

For me, what I wanted was another baby.  I was blinded by the overwhelming feelings, thoughts and emotions that took over and that's all I could think about.  I couldn't see for a long time that there was something bigger to my answer of "no".  I continued to ask and ask and ask and ask, and while asking  God is NOT a bad thing, I forgot His promise to me.  I forgot that He has promised to take care of me.  To make sure that I have what I need.  That He loves me.  That His intention is NEVER to hurt me.  Just like my son who forgot when I told him that we'd be able to go look at the toys, he continued to ask and ask and ask in the same way.  It didn't dawn on him to take me at my word.  He had to take matters into his own hands to make sure I'd follow through.  I think that's what I was doing with God.  Not that He ever promised me everything I've wanted.  Not even that He promised me another baby - He didn't.  But He promised me that He loved me and would take good care of me and "watch over me and guide me along the best pathway for my life" (psalm 32:8).  I forgot to take Him at His Word, and I tried to take matters into my own hands to make sure I got what I thought I wanted.  I'm sure it broke His heart to watch me hurt and cry over not having what I thought I wanted, but in the end He knew what lessons I needed to learn and how I would learn them best.

The resulting lesson and conclusions from my impatience was far deeper than just the fact that I didn't have another baby in my arms when I wanted to.  I am so grateful that God took that one want, and turned the lessons into a new pathway for me, and a deeper level of trust and belief in who He really is.  I'm so grateful I didn't get what I wanted and that He began to teach me what it means to wait patiently on Him.  "He brought me out of that pit, established my steps and put a new song in my mouth."  Hallelujah!  I will praise Him every day of my life for that moment when he said "no".